I was unsure, of course. I knew the tunnel would be full of
fake spider webs, spooky sounds and people in scary masks. I knew it would be
too scary for her but she insisted. We walked up to the entrance three or four
times and each time she chickened out. After each balk, however, she changed
her mind and we walked back. Finally, I told her she had to go through or go
home. It was getting late and it was a
school night. That was the push she needed (much to my chagrin) and the two of
us entered the tunnel.
I will never forget the sight of my little one, all decked
out in her sparkly, pink princess-riding-a-unicorn costume stepping into that
dark, scary tunnel. She looked so innocent and so vulnerable against that
menacing backdrop. I knew what was coming but there was nothing I could do to
stop it.
As soon as we entered, she was scared. About half-way
through, she started crying and I felt like the world’s worst mother for
agreeing to this. Fortunately, one of the scary monsters understood what was
happening. He took off his mask and tried to comfort her. Then, he ran ahead,
telling the others not to jump out and scare the little one. I really
appreciated that. I hope I thanked him… if not, “Thanks, Jeremy!”
We made it through, my daughter got her candy and I gave her
lots of love as she cried and told me how scary the experience had been. When
she gained her composure, we walked out from behind the tunnel. Some of the
other neighbors cheered for her and made a big deal about how brave she was.
That lifted her spirits a little bit. I still felt awful.
As we walked home, she recounted the experience, adding the
occasional “I will NEVER do that again!” By the time we got home, however, she changed
her mind. Not only was she going through it again the next year, but she also wanted
to be scary like the big kids in the tunnel. I did not want that at all. I
liked my adorable sparkly princess girl and it just seemed way too early for
her to be anything else. I hoped she would forget about being scary by the time
the next Halloween rolled around.
She did not forget. The next year, she decided to be a
vampire because vampires are scary. My heart ached over the fact that my sweet
little one had crossed some sort of threshold. No more cute costumes. It would
be nothing but horror and gore from here on out. The vampire costume was just
the beginning - a gateway to a dark, empty soul full of…. Well… stuff that
makes good mommies worry.
Oh, if only I had said “No” when she asked to go into that
tunnel!
The vampire costume consisted of a Gothic dress, fangs and a
long black wig. She was thrilled with her new, scary look. She showed us her
best vampire impersonation. Not surprisingly, she did not know what vampires
do, exactly. So she just tried look scary which was kind of cute, actually.
After about ten minutes, she tired of the fangs and took
them out.
The wig lasted about an hour.
In the end, the scary vampire was just a pretty blonde child
in a Gothic dress. And while I fretted over the loss of innocence brought on by
switching from cute to scary Halloween costumes (and blamed myself, of course,
for this loss), she was simply having fun and collecting a lot of candy along the way. Furthermore, she was still her sweet,
fun and adorable self.
In other words, the walk through the scary tunnel and
her choice of Halloween costume had not changed her in any way. She was FINE.
Maybe I over reacted…..
This year, she wants to be a cheetah. It is 100% her choice
and it expresses both her love of animals and her creativity. I am back in my comfort
zone since Cheetahs are not at all scary – unless you are a gazelle or a zebra.
Not only that, it is a homemade costume and she helped me paint the spots on it.
All is right in the world again.
Except, she wants to be a Rock Star next year….
Help!
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