The Cross of Motherhood

…and he who does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10: 38-39)

I struggle with the above passage in that I often wonder what is meant by “he who loses his life for my sake.” Am I supposed to become a martyr? Should give up everything I have and follow Jesus (like He told the rich young man)? And if I find my life by losing my life, am I not, then, finding my life and therefore losing it again?

And what cross am I meant to bear? Is following him supposed to be a chore? Is it nothing but toil and suffering? If I enjoy my life does it mean that I am not doing it right?

I was pondering the above a couple of nights ago when I had a thought: Motherhood is in many ways a cross that I bear. It is hard work, being a mother. It requires time and energy. Kids are expensive and demand a lot of attention. They do not always listen to what you say and they can irritate you to no end. Then, there is the emotional toll - the worry and fear. When news broke of the Newtown, CT, school shooting, I cried because I knew how much it would hurt to lose my own daughter. When I saw the pictures of the three girls who were rescued this week after being held captive for ten years, I saw was my daughter’s face- not theirs. This is what makes it hard to be a mother. This love that is so strong that even the idea that something horrible could happen to your child will send you over the edge.

Then, she and I share a laugh and snuggle before she goes to sleep. She reaches for my hand as I walk her into school. She tells me out of the blue that she loves me. At these times, the hard stuff melts away and I am filled with love and joy. Being a mother is tough but the burden is light. That crazy, intense love that causes me to worry about her every day also brings me a joy that I never knew before she was born. Love causes all that trouble but then it makes everything worth it. Love helps me bear the cross of motherhood.

Maybe that is what the passage is all about. Following Him can be difficult but Love will help us bear that cross. We do have to give up our lives to follow him but love makes that easier to do. Love lessens the burden of following. It is not rocket science. It is something I do every day as a mother. So when He later says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-29), I understand completely what he means.

It sounds a lot like motherhood.