A Word for 2013

I like to make a New Year’s resolution, or ten, each year. I do not always make them in time for January 1, but I always come up with something to work on or a project to complete. There are always plenty of resolutions to choose from - “exercise more,” “eat more vegetables,” “read War and Peace”- but they are all so overdone. I like resolutions that are special, that are specific to me and my life at that time and that require me to stretch a bit. Previous years have included “Write every day”, “Get Healthy (mind, body and spirit)” and “Read the Bible from Genesis to Revelations” (which actually took 4½ years to accomplish). Some of these are on-going, but that is what I think a resolution should be: taking time to look at your life and see where you need to improve or grow, then do it.  

I should eat more vegetables and exercise more in 2013 but the work I really need to do is not physical in nature. It is spiritual and relational. There are places in my life where I feel like a stranger, a poser, a fraud. I feel disconnected, alone and out of step. In these places, I think to myself:

“I don’t belong here”

 “These people don’t know me”

 “I just don’t get it”

I need to dig into the roots of these feelings – to understand them and come to some sort of peace with them. But how do I pull such a broad and vague need into tidy resolutions? Is it even possible? I do not think so. That is why I chose a word to work on this year, instead of making resolutions. That word is “Home.”

I want to become more “at home” with who I am, what I believe and the relationships I forge. I have worked on this for a couple of years and I have come a long way. But the easy stuff is done. The low hanging fruit has all been plucked. It is time to get into the hard stuff. It is time to look inside and really examine my relationships, my faith and my vocation. It is time to prune away that which is not working so everything else can grow and flourish. There is much to do – way more than a simple resolution, or ten, could cover- but I can do it. I have to do it. I will do it.

...But reading War and Peace would be a lot easier.