A Brief History of the Nativity Scene (At My House)

Shortly after my husband and I were married, his parents gave us a lovely ceramic nativity set. I put it up every year, carefully arranging each character just so. The set consists of the Holy family, of course, along with a camel, cow and donkey. There is a shepherd and a couple of lambs, the angel and the wise men. It is your basic set - nothing special - but it always made me feel nice when I put it up. I felt like I was sooo getting the REAL meaning of Christmas whenever I set it out on the sofa table.

When my daughter was 2-3 years old, she discovered the nativity scene. To her, it looked like a bunch of dolls so she played with them. Sometimes, she added other toys to the scene and crazy baby-Jesus adventures ensued. I did not stop her because I loved the idea of playing with Jesus and I figured he would not mind it, either. As she came to know what the nativity scene was, she began to contest my tasteful arrangement. She felt that the various characters could not see the baby Jesus standing where I placed them so she rearranged them whenever she could. Joseph, Mary, the shepherds, animals and wise men all crowded around the manger. I loved it – even took a picture:

A couple of years later, tragedy befell our nativity scene as my daughter accidentally dropped and broke Joseph. She felt terrible about it and cried for a good, long while. I felt bad, too. My Nativity scene was now incomplete. How would I replace Joseph? At first, I put the shepherd in his place but that did not feel right. Mary did not seem to be the type to hook up with shepherds. Besides, the shepherd looks to be about 12 years old. It just felt icky. The wise men did not work, either. They are dressed like Kings in this particular set (which is incorrect, according to my pastor). She in her peasant clothes with a king in his finery did not work any better than the shepherd boy did. And so it was that I decided to let Mary go it alone. My Blessed Mother of God became a single mom.  Over the years, I came to like the idea. I have a lot of friends who are single moms (and a single dad, or two, as well) and it reminds me that sometimes life does not work out like the stories we learned in childhood. It also makes for a great conversation starter when people ask about it. They always love the story of my daughter playing with the Nativity scene and breaking Joseph. I love how this incomplete Nativity scene is part of my family’s story now.

After Joseph’s untimely death, I bought my daughter a Playmobil Nativity set. This was one she could play with as much as she wanted - and play she did. In fact, she played with it well after Christmas was over. As we collected other Playmobil sets (we LOVE Playmobil), her Nativity scene became bigger and more interesting. You might see monkeys and elephants along with the cows and camels - and many more people. Her Nativity set characters also found their way into other scenarios. For example, Baby Jesus visits the Zoo and Mary pushes his stroller while the angel always gets free admission. Sometimes the story lines go beyond the standard Christmas story. Baby Jesus often rescues damsels (and animals, Polly Pockets and plastic lizards) in distress.

This year, I found a nativity cookie cutter set. I have not yet tried it out, but I am looking forward to baking and decorating those cookies. I might even add some of them to my ceramic nativity set (would a gingerbread Joseph be an appropriate companion for Mary?). As I dream of all the fun I will have with these cookie cutters, it occurs to me that I am “playing” with the Christmas story just as much as my daughter is and it is a testament to my evolving faith. I no longer see this amazing story as a lovely, but lifeless ceramic display on my sofa table. Jesus is no longer the fragile baby that never cries. My life and faith have become as fluid and unpredictable as my daughter’s play set. My Jesus is approachable, fun and not afraid to share a stable with elephants or Barbie dolls.

I still put out that old nativity set. Mary is still all by herself and the rest of the characters are arranged around her. I have looked to replace it but I cannot find another Nativity set that feels right. Of course, there are plenty of gorgeous Nativity sets out there. Beautiful carved wood, hand painted ceramics and the like. But that is not who I am. I am a still a work in progress. I am chipped and broken and missing pieces. One of these days I will “get it,” I suppose. Maybe then, I will be ready for the perfect Nativity scene. For now, however, I am happy with a single Mary and a gingerbread Joseph, surrounded by shepherds, wise men and Polly pocket dolls.